SO, I haven't been very creative these last couple of years. I've really just been concentrating on working and trying to keep up with the bills. I am also trying to pay off a couple of debts. I keep chipping away and I have been making some headway. It's sad to be at this age and still sweating a $75.00 electricity bill. However, the bill is getting paid. I am able to buy groceries & gas for the car, The height of luxury, for me, is to be able to buy groceries AND gas and not have to worry about it. Also, in these almost 2 years since Mum died, I have put on 25 or so pounds. I had a physical recently, and I am going to have to figure out how to LOSE those 25 odd pounds. I am teetering on the precipice of my decline. I am apparently the result of genetic leanings on both sides, my dear old dad's side moreso than Mum's. Though I feel awfully young to be dealing with this, I am , in reality , past my middle years . I have to start preparing NOW for the little old cat lady I aspire to become. Otherwise , I am going to end up in a state run facility alone and quoting passages from long forgotten skits of yore. Though I am a busy bee, it feels like I get nothing done. I feel so wonderful to do dishes & laundry . I practically faint from joy taking the trash out. I glory in the mundane these days. I would love to be able to spend time at home and just care for my home . Wash the floor as part of a routine schedule and not because of the pressure of my brother's impending visit. Oh to be an old-fashioned wifey , home all day to cook , clean and care for the kids. Making a home for my family. A faithful, sober, employed husband my reward for my efforts. True, it's an illusion, a dream , never existed. I would have been more likely to have dinner with a unicorn wearing a diamond studded g-string as to have fulfilled this weird concept of "normal". I am simply fatigued by the effort to keep up . Not with the mythical Joneses but with myself. My friend posts about all these shows that she is attending with mutual friends and I wish I had the energy to want to go. I know I'm missing something , but the idea of getting a good night's sleep far out weighs my imagined peer- pressure. I am spurred to resume this blog because 2 of my friends have resurrected theirs. My friend Dee-Rob, a great writer and great friend and my friend Kris. My friend Kris decided that is was high time to change his life. He quit his job and is blogging about his new experiences. I am inspired by what he is sharing. He made a bold move a month ago and he is sharing his bounty, via blogging, with the rest of us. I am not as good a writer as either Kris or Dee-Rob, but I feel a kindred spirit of them both . No, I don't have anything especially interesting to share, but I will try to exercise my atrophed writing muscles. I am not too worried, you are probably pretty busy . If you don't care for my writing , you don't have to read it . g'night